People have gone from being jobless to having successful careers because they thought that they did not deserve or were not smart enough to do what they genuinely wanted. People have changed their “successful” careers for what society has called “less successful” careers because they realized that they do not have to be what everyone expects, they can take control of their life and be happy at what they really desire.
People have come in overweight and with numerous addictions that have been able to break free of these addictions to become who they want to be and fight their IT to gain control over their lives. Here are a few testimonies from my clients.
Paul Massengill's "Discover it" helped me to completely transform my life. By becoming aware of an entity whose sole purpose was to reconcile my future with my past, with valiant efforts to bring me down to a level that I was committed to rising from, I was no longer confused about what was taking place and was able to better defend myself from this natural process. I can truly say that my life today bears no resemblance of the life I lived years ago. My life today is a life that I designed, and I owe it mostly to the concepts covered in this book.
I would like to share an experience with you that may dramatically change the way you think forever, but first I’d like to paint a picture of how it began. Sitting on my mom’s porch where I lived at the time, smoking a joint and attempting to rid my mind of relationship and financial issues. I had $0 to my name, no car to drive, and no idea whom I could consider friends, enemies, or (frenemies, more on this INSIDER later.) I had no control of my life and was beginning to doubt whether happiness was even a possibility for me or maybe it was too much to ask from someone who’s past was as littered with struggle and failure as the local basketball court with kids dreaming of becoming like Mike someday. I was convinced then, but I see differently now.
That same day, in that same moment, up walked Paul Massengill. Casually dressed, but professional, although he was not there for business. Paul was moving into the neighborhood and only introducing himself in advance. Light conversation leads to touchier subjects where I believe that Paul realized the state that I was in and without any pressure, he extended the idea of a mentor / mentee that has endured until this day, over 8 years later.
Today, I hold a management position as a Quality Assurance Inspector for ship repair. I bartend part-time for fun and additional income. I recently expanded my music production business and moved into a spacious 1,000 sq. ft office only blocks from downtown. I am fully independent, owning 2 homes and 2 vehicles, responsible for all my own utilities and expenses, and have amassed a savings that takes most people a lifetime to achieve. One could say I drastically transformed my life, but more importantly I transformed my mind set.
First, I’d like to stress the importance of openness. Being able to invite another perspective and share the insight of someone who has acquired more experience than yourself is monumental in expanding your mind and your reality. Aside from that, Paul has a unique gift. He is extremely talented in his ability to enter into another person’s world by asking the right questions, questions that people normally shy away from, questions that can focus one’s attention inward and magnify areas previously unseen. These unseen areas are where the bulk of transformation begins. If you are afraid to visit these places, very little can be accomplished. They say we are our own worst enemy and at times we can be the primary enemy, this is the focus of Paul Massengill’s philosophy. To begin with ourselves is to ultimately change our world.
I could probably write a book on the things I’ve learned, but they will never be your story. Your story will be unique to you, but you must be open to it. You must accept what is for you and that isn’t an easy task. For many reasons people resist the best things in life; for fear of change, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being judged, and past pre-programmed conditions of low self-esteem, suppression of assertiveness, suppression of personality and more. Although it is easy to fall into these traps it doesn’t have to become our destiny. You begin to write your own future once you realize that you’ve held the pen all along…
Before I discovered IT, I would have said things were going pretty well. I learned many things in my life and had a lot of accomplishments. I felt pretty capable. I was about to retire after 20 years in the Navy. If someone would have asked, I would have said. “I was pretty normal”. A couple of years after I joined the Navy, I got married and turned 21. I chased alcohol for 10 years, before quitting and working a 12-step program. The mindset and my past led me to believe I was powerless. With this belief and the friends that held me accountable I was able to stay sober. We celebrated success and have strong fellowship. I felt healthier and better about myself when around people that accepted me.
I learned many things that were “wrong” with me, but just accepted them as characteristics that were “just the way I am”. I would attach these labels to myself and never considered changing. Some of these were from the way I was raised or the way I perceived things throughout my life. I felt happy enough, so why change. I had no idea what I didn’t know. I had come to the point that I wanted a divorce. I had been telling myself for many years “that things are never going to work out” or “that I wanted something different”. Over and over in my head, I would tell myself all these negative things, that would have made this relationship impossible.
When I discovered my IT, I realized my entire life was not as it seemed. Since that day, my brain started creating memories, before I was even born, I was learning and creating my perception of who I thought I was, and how I thought things were supposed to be. Whether it was good or bad that was who I thought I was, and everything would revolve around that. I learned how to get attention, how to be rewarded, how to be accepted, how to feel like I had value. All these things were really just my perception of my opinion.
When I discovered IT, my whole world changed. Things were not as they seemed. I learned the history and truth behind what created who I thought I was, and I was a slave to this way of thinking my whole life. I realized the only think keeping me that way was me. I could be free just by choosing to. A lifetime of habits or belief system are not easy to change. My mind that was raised a certain way my whole life, will do everything it can to resist change. Old habits are not easy to break. I learned a new sense of awareness of my own thinking. I would identify things I thought I could never change and choose to change the way I was thinking. I could break through these limiting beliefs. I could disregard this selective thinking and have an open mind. I started reading books and discovering new things I had never thought of. I was no longer controlled by my perception that had be in bondage my whole life. The way I looked at the world around me has changed.
18 years may not seem that long to some folks, but for me I feel a lot older. I recently turned 18, but my mental and emotional state was nowhere near 18. I felt like my mentality was like a 13-year-old mindset. In the past I had a bad substance abuse problem. It may be illegal, but I see addiction more as a sickness than anything else. I abused drugs and alcohol for the same purpose that most people do, it was to fill this void that doesn’t manifest anything but negativity in it such as; fear, anger, insecurities, doubt you name it. At the time I thought what I was doing was ok, it was normal because the only thing I grew up around was drugs, alcohol, and addicts. So, I used substances to fill that negative void, but the more I used the harder it was to fill that void to the point where some substances didn’t help me numb my brain. As more time passed, I became angry at myself and at the world to the point where I thought suicide was the only answer to escapes all this anger and negativity. For my entire life I lived with abusers and addicts which made the environment hostile and since I was used to living in a hostile environment, I thought that this was normal. In May of 2020 I moved out from this hostile environment into my first ever safe and stable environment. Since I left that household and into a completely new environment; I see how mentally unstable I was. I can finally recognize the difference between normal and dysfunctional. Because of my past trauma with abuse and triggers that constantly reminded me of my past it has paused my brain growth and stopped me from mentally maturing. Since May 2020, I have been on a journey called self-discovery and this has helped me recognize the meaning of life and reality and how it truly feels. This journey has helped me realize that yes I am a victim of abuse and trauma but always having that mindset will make you act and hide like a victim and have your past define you for who you think you are in the present. I’ve learned to leave IT in the past. My understanding of IT is that it is my Internal Thoughts that I repeat based on my past and these thoughts influence the choices I make. I’m choosing to not let IT control me because all it is going to do is make you doubt yourself, put you down, and make you feel like you’re trapped and that everything in your life has a limit. But the sky’s the limit, whatever you put your mind to you can achieve. So, I have stopped letting IT define me and have started believing in who I really am. Also, through the power of choice, I have gained the power over my own life and circumstances. Another thing that self-discovery has helped me recognize is that by utilizing this power of choice I have been able to grow up mentally and emotionally. I have never felt this mentally strong or mature. I have learned a lot from self-discovery and the power of choice helped me choose my mentality and how to respond, react, and process things positively in a more adult manner. This power that few realize they have is the reason why I am still here living and breathing and telling my story I am here because everyone including myself has this phenomenal power of choice inside them. If I did not choose to not have IT control me and define me for who I am today. I would have taken my own life. Meeting Paul and being introduced to IT, has not only changed my circumstances and life but has literally saved my life as I am sure that I would have eventually committed suicide.
Because of the knowledge of IT and the power it has given me, I have been able to get enough confidence to where I got two job interviews where I was offered both jobs. I have never had an actual job before. I wouldn’t have been able to come this far in such little time if it wasn’t for me starting the journey of self-discovery and recognizing the power of IT and realizing that I have way more power over myself than IT we’ll ever have again.
I began my journey at the end of July 2018. I had just fasted 6 days to try and make sense of my life and my marriage. God brought me clarity to the meaning of commitment and covenant that I shared with my wife. I was in a “coma” for much of my marriage. I was doing and caring for my wife, but there was always something missing. God gave me clarity of the value I should place on my wife and Him. Well in late July, I met Paul and we had started on this journey of self-discovery. There were no excuses allowed from either of us to not be fully committed to this experience. Well, of course I was all in! Ready to improve my relationship, but my wife was hesitant. Fix him and I can live my life the way I want to. Paul’s response was “Its all or nothing.”
It began with an inspiring testimony of one of his clients/still friends. I was perplexed, but still ready to dive in. He gave us words. Then asked us to define them and then give him what we thought the meaning of the word was. Well that at first was a strange feeling, but then I understood why. Each word has a current and past meaning that is relevant in your past and present situation. We dove into the meaning of self-worth, empathy, power, and trauma, just to name a few. Through this we were both able to understand that what we had learned and experienced has come from our past. As kids, as teens and as young adults, we held onto these values, yet they weren’t supposed to define us. Paul said it was past programmed conditioning.
Events and people influenced how we thought of ourselves. I will only speak of myself, but this was a gut wrenching endeavor into a really disheartening childhood, filled with low self-esteem, parents that were constantly at odds with each other and then experiences that start to shape you and make you think what you are supposed to be for the rest of your life. Well, at 55, I was ready to clean house and get my act together. I did not want my internal thoughts dictating my life. As Paul says, “IT will allow you to receive only what you think you deserve”. After pondering that, I didn’t deserve any of that! I knew I was better than that.
I discovered that through the years my experienced had given me a very low self-esteem. Through understanding of my internal thoughts, the IT factor, I was able to understand that these thoughts did not have to define me. They were issues from the past, but I should not be holding on to them in the present nor in my future. I discovered that I emulated my father. A man who did not liked women and was abusive, cruel and only out for himself.
I had never been physically abusive in my relationships. I hated when my parents fought. I saw the aftermath of that. I did have my defense mechanisms. Retreat to self where it is safe. Fearful of speaking or even conversing with my wife, I was still there to care for her, but that was in actions to be sure things were fixed and stable. I missed the beginning of our romance where we talked for hours and passionately embraced each other. As in the world, the stress and pressures of the outside forces take over and then your IT takes control… Never good enough, why doesn’t she care, What happened?
Well the IT factor happened. Your internal thoughts take you back to what you are used to. Through you past, IT does not want you to break free and succeed. IT is the devil trying to rule your mind, body and actions. I discovered that IT only wants to keep control and leave you in a state of purgatory. IT is happy if you stay in the past. It does not want you to succeed.
I learned how many facets of my past dictated my present-day self. I learned that I did not have to own them. Well that is easier said than done. It takes continual work. Positive perspective and of course, an understanding that IT will work at any avenue to gain another foothold when you start to gain traction out of the abyss.
Through this last year, I have discovered that God does not make junk. I am a man among men! I am flawed and always will be, but I can keep vigilant watch on my IT. I can overcome so much discomfort in my mind and my life, that I can truly live a fulfilled life. I am still a work in progress. We all are. I still deal with self-acceptance issues but know in my heart that I have done good in my life. I am a strong courageous man with a heart for giving and loving. I’ve also learned to fight for myself. It is never to late for re-discovery.
When you work with a life coach, be ready to peel every layer of your past back to discover the future you have in store. Lastly, you are not alone. So many of us struggle with the past and what we think of ourselves. The future can be yours. It is only a word, definition or experience away. Don’t let your internal thoughts control you. Don’t let your past define your future.
All my life, I felt that I was meant for something phenomenal. I was always considered, by my family, to have incredible potential. My father started teaching me about stocks, money, and banking when I was in elementary school. I was considered intelligent and entrepreneurial. I sold seeds door to door at the age of 7, had numerous lemonade stands, sold the excess vegetables out of our garden, and ran the food stand at the Pony Club horseshows. As a teenager, I sewed dresses for my mother’s friends. So, when I became an adult, I thought I would be a millionaire by the time I was 30. I had many small businesses and multiple jobs that I thought were improving my skills for the next entrepreneurial idea.
The problem was my follow thru. For some reason, I would work hard on a business or project, but then stop, and have no further interest. For many years, I tried to understand why this pattern continued. I searched for the answer in self-help courses, read countless books, hired a business coach, went to a psychologist, even spent a lot of days asking for God’s help. Then I met Paul Massengill. Based on his book, you would think the happy ending was right around the corner. However, I initially fought Paul for 5 years. He would try to talk to me about my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, but I didn’t want talk about the information in his “book”. Until one day, I was trying to understand why my life was the opposite of the life in my dreams. So, I listened.
What I discovered was, I had spent my life listening to an enemy--an enemy inside me. An enemy that spent every waking moment of my life telling me that “I could never succeed” or “I could never be loved” or “I did not deserve”. This enemy constantly criticized me. The enemy was my internal thoughts, or my “IT”.
You see, most of my life, while I acted happy and outgoing on the outside, I was sad and fearful on the inside. When someone complimented me, my “IT” told me they were lying to me. When a man seemed interested in me, my “IT” told me he had ulterior motives. I rarely trusted anyone.
I learned, by Discovering IT, that I spent my life putting myself in positions that my “IT” told me I deserved. So, I have been in relationships where I was treated poorly, I have been in multiple jobs where I was fired, and every business that I tried, ultimately failed.
Now, through “Discovering IT”, I have a new outlook on life. I can see all the places that my “IT” has me self-sabotaging my life. Now that I have identified this enemy, I am able to recognize and choose which path I want to take. I am no longer a victim of my own thoughts. I can laugh and ridicule those thoughts.
The result is that I have a freedom I have never had. I no longer stress over anything. I am happy and looking forward to the life I originally dreamed. I have big goals and big dreams for the “retirement” portion of my life. The difference is I know my future is not a wish, a hope or a dream, but a fact. Anything I want to create, any thing I want to have and anywhere I want to go are all part of the future that I will have. I deserve so much, and I know I am going to get the life I want and deserve, because I have the power of choice. I have discovered “IT”.
Susie came to me wanting to know what I could tell her about her problem and how did I know what it was. I met her one night through mutual friends. When the conversation turned to what I did, she became very interested and wanted to know more. At our first life coaching session, I exposed her to IT. Susie’s problem was that she felt that she was ugly and that no one could ever love her. She was told all her life that she was the smart one and her sister was the pretty one. She got the books and her sister got the looks.
Her grandfather hated her, and her father did not seem to like her. He was always on her case blaming her for everything, even when others told him she was innocent. Susie never dated in school. She only had one boyfriend in her life. She married him, had two children and after 10 years divorced him. The marriage had been bad from the beginning. On her honeymoon night they slept in separate beds and never shared a bed all night the whole 10 years. She had been divorced four years when she came to me for life coaching and had never dated any one after the divorce.
When I explained to her that in her reality, she had concluded that since her grandfather and father did not love her no one could love her and she agreed. She had known that her problem had something to do with her grandfather but did not understand why. I explained that her IT did not want her adult rational mind to see her problem for what it was. IT had blocked her memory to prevent her from questioning her reality.
Susie was very desperate to change her life. We had many more coaching sessions and she went through physical as well as emotional setbacks because of her IT. After one session, Susie’s ear canals began to swell until she could not hear out of her left ear and the right ear was beginning to do the same. She had to seek medical help to clear her ears. She immediately calls to ask what her IT did not want her to hear? I got her to review the material we were going over and she realized that at that point she had a breakthrough on one of her conditions.
On another occasion, her IT would give her all kinds of excuses about different events in her life. Soon after Susie started believing that maybe she could be desirable, she started seeing someone. At this time every time this man tried to get closer or if he made any comment about their relationship she would immediately get attacked by her “IT. IT would try to convince her that he was using her, that he felt sorry for her and that he did not know to get out of the relationship because he was too nice to hurt her feelings.
But Susie, now knowing what the thoughts were, learned how to battle these and to deny them. She explained how eventually by recognizing and attacking her IT every time it came back; her doubts became less and less and she began to really start believing in herself and now has developed a good healthy relationship in her life.
At the same time Susie has gained confidence in other areas of her life. She has started writing. This is something she had always wanted to do and now remembers how back in elementary school she would write short stories but forgot she could. She is amazed at how the words come together now.
Today Susie has accomplished some of her dreams and her life has changed. She has been able to move to a location where she has wanted to be for three years and could not dream it would ever come true. This all happened within a six-month period. In just four short months, Susie has moved and developed a relationship. In the subsequent two months she has started writing. Susie wonders what’s next and tells me how thankful she is for the knowledge of IT.
I explained that without her being proactive the knowledge would not have helped, and she said without the knowledge she could not have been proactive. She is right we need both. You must do your part after you gain the knowledge.
George was a successful businessman. Everything he touched turned to gold. He was able to make money at whatever he tried. He had everything he wanted, houses, cars, everything but a real relationship with someone who loved him, not his money.
When he came to me, he told me about how he had all the women he wanted, but none of them really loved him. He told me about how he never really had any friends just business partners.
After asking George about his family life and growing up, I explained IT to him. George began to put pieces together. He never has a close family life, though he came from a large family. He was the youngest and was never close to any of his siblings. His parents never showed him any love or attention. As he grew up he was determined he would not be like his family and would strive for success.
His success had come from his determination and belief that he would not turn out like his family. But, when it came to love, George believed he did not deserve it. If his mother and father did not love him how could anyone else. He felt love was something he could not have for himself like success, so he never achieved it.
Until George realized that he did deserved love and it was not him that was unlovable, he would not allow anyone to get close, because he was afraid to get close to anyone himself. You see, George did not even love himself, so how could others love him.
I worked with George through this situation and by addressing his IT every time it came up in his life, he was able to believe in himself and find someone in his life.
George still has to work with IT in other areas of his life, but says by knowing about IT and where it comes from, he can identify IT when it starts to attack him and now he knows how to go about handling it.
Patricia came to me with several types of physical problems. She had chronic fatigue syndrome, arthritis, and she was overweight. I asked her why she thought she was having these problems. She told me that she probably got it from her mother because her mother had arthritis and was overweight. Then, she made a sly comment that she always thought she would turn out just like her mother. Everyone said so.
I got her to think back to when she first thought that she was like her mother. She said all her life. She was a small child and did not get along with her mother well. Her mother was also a small child and did not gain weight until after she started having children. Her family told her that she did not get along with her mother because they were just alike. Patricia tried to deny this, but the family kept insisting.
As Patricia aged, she started gaining a little weight. The seed that was planted by her family that she was just like her mother started taking root. Patricia finally started saying the same thing that she was turning out just like her mother. After Patricia started believing this, she developed arthritis.
To start the change, Patricia had to change her belief about her relationship to her mother. We discussed the option that she was her own person. She did not have to be like anyone else because she had physical similarities with her mother. Her life and health did not have to mirror her mothers.
When Patricia realized what she was doing, she could not believe she was doing these things. She said it was not like her at all. I asked her to start thinking about being healthy and slimmer. She left my office with hope and a new attitude.
Patricia decided to call Weight Watchers the next day. She lost 26 pounds in three months. Her arthritis went away. Patricia has been looking at what she believes and has adjusted her thinking in other areas as well. She is more conscious of her internal thoughts (IT) now and is taking control over them.
Margaret is an older lady who has spent her life surrounded by a lot of people. She raised nine children. Margaret has always been the center of attention. After her husband died, she notices that she started getting sick a lot. Her heart started deteriorating and she had trouble getting around because her legs started to swell. She could not understand why all this seemed to be happening at once.
I asked Margaret how she was feeling prior to her problems. She admitted that after her husband died, she was somewhat lonely. Although she had nine children, they each had their own busy life and she was not really needed. I asked her to list the times when she felt that she got a lot of attention. She said it was on holidays and when she had her gall bladder removed several years earlier.
Her desire was to get attention from her family and not to feel lonely. Her internal thoughts (IT) told her that the only time she could get her family’s attention was on holidays and when she got sick. Since she could not control holidays, she began to get sick. This brought her family to her giving her the attention she wanted.
When I suggested that her illnesses were brought on subconsciously by her IT. She was reluctant to agree. I asked her to think of other possible ways or things she could do to make herself feel less lonely. She came up with volunteer her services at a local retirement home. Margaret was good with crafts. She volunteered to give a craft class once a week at the retirement home. Margaret also got involved with different projects at her church.
After about two months of this, Margaret reported to me that she was feeling much better and her heart problems were under control. She was so busy that she did not have time to feel lonely. I re-introduced her to the possibility that her IT could have been causing her health problems. After seeing the change in her life, she was finally able to admit that her thinking was controlling her life. She learned to control what she was thinking and used her thoughts to achieve her desires.
Before working with Paul, my relationship with my mother was pretty much non-existent. I did what I was supposed to do as it relates to a mother/daughter relationship, but we were never close. My mother had told me at an early age that she hated me and that impacted not only our relationship, but every other relationship I ever had with anyone. Since working with Paul, I have been able to understand my relationship with my mother and am now able to open up and enter new relationships with others without feeling guarded. Also, working with Paul had provided me with fresh insight and ideas on working with my clients.
I’m a teacher of math in a local college in Virginia. I have been looking a long time for someone to help me set goals and help support me in following through with them. I’ve never been aware of my potential nor had any idea of my hidden strength. A friend of mine told me about her life coach and how much she had grown since she started coaching sessions with Paul. Not until I took my friends suggestion and went to a session with Paul did, I realize my hidden potential and the possibilities that lay instore for me. These possibilities were unavailable to me, I thought, until Paul showed me how to overcome the obstacles in my life. I am so glad that I am on my way to a life with purpose and meaning thanks to the philosophy of Discover IT. Although I am just beginning, I am looking forward to many more self-discoveries and self-growth with this method. With the small success I have already accomplished I can now visualize the possibility of future growth and finally becoming the person I have always wanted to be.